Jersey Shore, Season 4, and Hurricane Sandy– Some Thoughts

Don’t Try to Tell Me There’s No Connection

First of all, thoughts, hopes, good wishes, and prayers (if you believe in that kind of thing), go to everyone on the East Coast right now. Very sincerely. BUT… okay, hold on for the rest of this.

Last night, I was planning a post about the sheer unspeakable depths to which Jersey Shore: Season 4 has plunged. If you thought that an obsessive up-close look at the sleazy sex lives of Neanderthals was bad, well, this season turned out to be infinitely worse. At the beginning, it all looked like it was going to add up to nothing more than a round of mind-numbingly boring stupidity. WRONG!!!! Episode 5 reached an entirely new low. Remember how the entire Ron and Sammy show basically implied that impending domestic violence was cute and funny? NOTHING compared to what happened on that episode. Jenny’s bf (or God knows, whatever) Roger throws her across a club for the heinous crime of trying to stop him from assault and battery. Then, this thirty-seven-year-old man (so without the dubious excuse of being a dumb teenager or twenty-something) immediately accuses her of “playing the victim.” This is AFTER telling her that “I recognized you the whole time!” and, re: throwing her to the floor, “you deserved it.” THEN, she sees a doctor (proving that someone connected with that show has at least a modicum of common sense), and X-rays show that she has a broken foot. AND THEN… all of the male roommates laughingly share their opinions that she’s a drama queen. (Just to prove that it was really that bad, here’s the whole story.

(hunts for a bazooka)

WHY couldn’t these people be ON the Jersey Shore when this hits??

(Note: that’s just hyperbole… not actually WISHING for anyone to be engulfed by 12-foot storm surges here… but these people need to be catapulted into space so that they live on their own planet, far, far away from the rest of us.)

And is it really COINCIDENCE that the hurricane is scheduled to make landfall on the Jersey Shore?

(Hint: Yes. Still, you do have to wonder about the entire sinners in the hands of an angry God thing sometimes. Such as now.)

But again, best wishes to everyone on the East Coast… okay; okay, including the cast of Jersey Shore, too. Although they’re probably not there right now.

What? Jenni and Roger are getting married??? Apparently so.

Forget about the hurricane! Isn’t there something we can do to stop these people from breeding, so that at least innocent children aren’t involved?

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